got any stale biscuits?

WELCOME TO THE FIRST INSTALLMENT OF

PEOPLE WHAT I HAVE CRUSHES ON AND SOMETIMES SECRETLY BECAUSE IT IS OCCASIONALLY EMBARRASSING

( people what i have etc )

I have been meaning to write these. I don't call myself an artist, although I want to be one. I don't feel like one, most of the time. I treat my drawing skills just as that -- a skill that I love very dearly and which I've cultivated the hell out of for many, many years. But some part of it feels like it's missing, so I don't call it art. Although I would like for it to be.

But my stories, I think of those as art. When my writing is really good, it is art, and I love it for that. But it's not even my writing that I think of as art, but the stories I make up. I want to be a storyteller even more than I want to be an artist.

So if I want to be a storyteller, shouldn't I tell more stories?

With that as my inspiration, I decided to write legends. And stories. Stories like fairy tales.

Maybe that's dumb, but I don't care. This is what I wrote today.
( legends )

I'll probably write more later, but right now I have to run to class.

( talking )


EDIT: I'm starting over but keeping my wordcount because I fucking dragged myself through those 20,000 words and I don't give a shit augh. Here we go again. This is much better, though. Now I'm writing what I actually wanted to.

I like the Beast a lot better than any of the other characters, disregarding Chastity, of course. Anyway, here we go again.

I am in love with this song and idek why. Usually I hate when I can't understand words in a song, but I really like this one. It has a peaceful, detached quality to it.

I was wondering today if maybe I am so detached and on the moon because my parents gave me so much benadryl as a kid, and then I laughed a lot because I thought that seemed kind of ridic. I think it's genetic, because I see it in a pattern from my dad's side going back at least to my great-grandmother, and the only reason I don't know past that is because I never met or heard about anybody earlier than that. My dad thought it was because him and my mom were "emotionally distant" or something like that.

But I think I would have ended up this way no matter what, and if I hadn't, I wouldn't be anywhere near Me. If that makes sense.

Also, happy Friday the 13th! Here are some pictures!

( imageheavy like crazy )

Things What I Am Thinking About Now:
- I found The Last Unicorn online and I AM WATCHING THAT SONNUVABITCH THIS WEEKEND I NEED A PICKMEUP i am probably going to cry omg met don't judge LOL
- Behind a day on my NaNo, but I just have to do a little north of 1700 words today and I should be fine
- MiniThanksgiving this weekend! I am very much looking forward to it
- I dreamed something awesome last night but totally lost whatever it was and now I can't find it again
- I think Devilcat is probably gone for good this time; I sort of wish I had gone outside to get her when she'd meowed at us that morning. But I guess she is probably okay, or else she isn't, and I can't affect things either way.
- I'm really hungry but my stomach is also upset so that's kind of balls

Anyway I'll draw some today but only after I've written, and if y'all see me online, make me write at least a little bit LOL

Okay. Had a shitty day. But that's alright. Things will be better.

So to entertain myself as well as my friends, and because Friday the 13th is coming up, have some favorites from my /x/ folder!

( monstrously imageheavy HOLY CRAP )

it is like four in the morning why am i not asleep AAAURGH

My eyes feel like they want to crawl out of my head and dunk themselves in a glass of water.

My appetite is all screwed up lately. I feel nauseated all of the time but I like eating so much that it only sometimes makes a difference. Mostly today I ate tortillas and tried to eat other stuff, I guess out of habit? I don't know. Tortillas and fried rice.

Feel like I'm losing weight but so goddamned slowly, and that's annoying. Maybe my body senses my discomfort and so is making me feel ill so that I will eat less.

Feeling afraid I'm going to flunk my math class and maybe my anthro class but hopefully not. Everything else is totally peachy and great, though. So I guess that evens out my performance in school this semester to "mediocre".

I managed to spit about 500 words out earlier this evening, through sheer force of will not to have written nothing today. Thank goodness for my wordcount cushion; I build it up for days like this.

Got up to try and write some stuff but I quickly discovered that my brain is too scattered to really put anything together.

I want very badly for a big thunderstorm or something like that. I need a haircut. I want to sit outside in the wet windy dark. Devilcat was meowing outside this morning and it woke me up, but I was too out of it to go and get her, so I guess she's disappeared back into the wilds of Albuquerque. Nice to know she's not dead. Maybe she just stopped by and screamed her head off for a few minutes so I'd know she was alright.

Sometimes I dig around craigslist personal ads for fun. Riveting, I know. (It's right up there with my monstrously boring hobby of finding amusing "haunted" items on eBay.) Anyway, accidentally clicked "reply" to one of the ones I was looking at for some dude about 40, and the "let's make sure you're not a robot, please type in the words you see" thing gave me "NEPHEW". L O L

sometimes life is pretty funny

I'm a resentful person. I'm hateful. People don't believe me because the people that hear that, I guess, are the people I don't hate, or at least try very hard not to hate.

( vomit )

WHO WANTS TO SEE THE FIRST PART OF MY NANO?

( nanoclip )

This is easily the best part of my NaNo so far. Too bad it was the first thing I wrote. SIGGHHH.

This opening is basically extra fun-points for myself and anyone who knows Chastity at all.

( writing )

idk, still rusty, but I am having fun c:

Some writing.

( howell )

I'm still really rusty which is a little embarrassing but mostly I enjoy these, or at least enjoyed writing them.

OKAY WHO WANTS TO SEE DEVILCAT??

( devilcat )

So, imagine that attacking the shit out of you while you're trying to sleep. SHE'S SO PLEASANT.

I love her though and I am so glad that she came back home.

Woke up and can't get back to sleep for some reason.

I dreamed that I was a kid that wanted Pokemon to be real. I had two Pokemon already, I don't know what else I was waiting for. And there was a girl who ended up being Erin that I was in love with.

And we went on this thing together, where you ride a slide, and all this Stuff is everywhere, and you can just grab as much as you want. Emily was there. I said something like, "You can't play this game with your friends. What happens when you see something you really want?" Which seemed weird, for me. I got a small knife with that iridescent pearl/shell stuff on it.

There was a man who I guess was dead. And I was being arrested for something? I can't seem to remember. Too bad, it seemed really interesting.

I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I looked at the clock and it said 4:44 and when I got back into bed I wondered if I would remember in the morning or if I would think this was a dream.

Devilcat is the cat's name right now. She was being super sweet when I got up. Maybe she woke me up and I didn't realize.

She seems to like me just fine although she clawed the shit out of Erin several times while I was away in class yesterday. So I backed off a bit, but she's still being just sweet as ever. So strange.

I think she has vision problems. When she tries to focus her eyes on something, her head kind of wobbles. I wonder if she has brain damage, which would explain the sudden aggressive behavior -- Erin said there was no warning. She doesn't seem to be doing it to me, though.

She stares at where you were for a moment when you move away. She's a very strange animal. I like her a lot, though, but I guess that's because she's being a sweetheart to me. Maybe she'll warm up to Erin. She didn't like Iris either, though.

DEVILCAT HOW COME YOU LIKE ME AND NOBODY ELSE?

truly she was meant to be with me hahaha